Parenting and Tennis, What NOT To Do
by Neha Uberoi
Neha Uberoi is a former professional tennis player, ranked as high as 110 on WTA Tour. Neha and her sister, Shikha competed all around the world, playing for the US and India respectively. Neha is back at Princeton University, finishing her undergraduate degree. Her website, www.nehasworld.com offers anecdotes, advice for aspiring players and fun tales from her time on the tennis tour.
Contact Neha, at uberoipr@gmail.com
So you want to push your kid in tennis? You may think you are ‘bringing out the best’ in your child and their athletic performance but be wary of these five inhibiting and dangerous parenting mistakes. By slightly altering your critique, you can avoid conflict and help cultivate your child’s success.
1. Don’t compare your child to other players.
While you might merely be pointing out positive characteristics you want in your children, comparing them to their peers can start a negative trend of self-loathing and low self-esteem. You can also unknowingly make those your are comparing your children too seem intimidating instead of beatable. As an alternative approach, point out positive traits in athletes that compete in older age groups or in another sport altogether to make your point.
2. More hours on the court DO NOT equal improvement.
Yes, repetition and hard work is key to success in almost any field. However, if your child is merely putting in the hours without the right technique, mental attitude and intensity, that time has been wasted. Opt for shorter, planned training sessions with higher intensity and focus.
3. Do not micromanage your child.
If your kid is above the age of twelve, controlling what time he/she sleeps and how he/she spends each waking moment can be lead to burnout. Tell your child the importance of a good night’s sleep and its positive effects on performance. If he/she is unable or unwilling to show self-discipline, at least you know how committed your child is to the sport. You can avoid tensions as well wasting your resources.
4. Do not tell your child he/she is too fat or too thin.
This can be detrimental to self esteem, body image and healthy eating patters for years to come. Seek a third party to educate your child on how he/she can improve performance by improving the body. At home, find tactful ways to help your child achieve his/her weight goals without criticism. For example, buy less junk food, use less oil when cooking, make smaller portions, buy leaner meat, sit and enjoy the meal together. By making food a non issue, you can avoid serious psychological disorders.
5. Do not equate your child’s tennis results to any other aspect of his/her life.
A loss is an independent event that has no correlation to your child’s academic performance. They are separate events have nothing to do with his/her fortitude. By relating one result to another you are in grave danger of tampering with your child’s identity and self worth.
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