Tribe Desi Blog: Matchmaking, Halal Dating and Arranged Marriages...

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REFLECTIONS

For those of you in Dallas, if you haven't done so,
this would be the time to jump on the Mavs
bandwagon...and on another note, I
learnt a new adjective: cymotrichous...

So a lot has happened in the last few
weeks since you got the last newsletter (as mentioned before,
if you need pertinent news right away, follow our blog or @dfwdesi on twitter (for example, you may
have missed Lady
Gaga targeting India for expanding her empire ... and
feel free to share if you find something
interesting), but as I was trying to think of the theme for
this newsletter, the Arnold and Maria story stood out (not
to mention a matrimonial sponsor)...how do we frame that
in the South Asian context...

As South Asians, we have our views
about meeting the right person, dating, bachelor parties
(insert visions of a chicken, a missing tooth, a white
tiger and a tattoo...), marriage, and life
ever after, which are mostly different than the mainstream -
mostly because of cultural norms and Bollywood influence. A
whole (apparently lucrative) mini-industry has grown up around
the first phase - meeting the right person - including
matrimonial sites, speed dating and personal consultation and
introductions.

Some interesting articles around that
include an interview with Rahul Bhardwaj, the founder of Two
Mangoes, and "halal dating" - from Rahul's
interview: "It all began
when my Father told me he was going to put my profile up on a
matrimonial site. You know the deal, finish college, look for
a wife. I humored him for a few minutes and looked at the
sites he had in mind to put me on. I was floored that
customers were paying for sub-par experiences, and these sites
were getting away with it!. So, two things dawned upon me: 1.
Like every nerd, I was going to solve my problem by building a
website, and 2. I was going to build a better experience than
what was out there, along with a sustainable business model
that didnt rely on directly charging people to find
love.

...and on "halal
dating": "Raja says British Muslims have failed to embrace
the best aspects of modernity when it comes to marriage and as
a result increasing numbers of highly educated Muslim women
find themselves part of the "spinster generation" excelling in
their academic and professional lives but left out in the cold
when they try to find a husband..."

And now, there is a new twist to the
"introductions" - personalized consultations - our sponsor
this newsletter is Jasbina the
Matchmaker ("Intersections is
the Only National Elite Personalized Introduction
and Dating Coaching Service designed for selective South Asian
Singles Nationwide interested in optimizing chances of meeting
that special someone.")

Moving
on, once the intros are done, you are eager to find your
"soulmate" - if you thought that was a simple concept,
check out spiritualsoulmate,
companion soulmate, twin soulmate and twin flame
soulmate!! Interesting: "The concepts of
soulmates arose from Greek mythology. According to the story,
our ancestors once had 2 heads, 4 arms. They did something to
offend a god so that god punished them by splitting them down
the middle, resulting in the creation of humans. As a
punishment, we are condemned to spend our lives searching for
the other half, our soulmates"...

Obviously
you don't want to read the whole saga in one newsletter,
so we will continue the next phases in another issue, but just
to tickle your fancy for the weekend..while we have all these
matrimonial gurus, you can never predict how a marriage will
end - here's a first:divorce
over Hindi soap operas: "Television soap operas, with their high melodrama,
dramatic close-ups and music, have a huge following in India,
particularly among housewives or women who work as domestic
help.

Granting
her application, a family court judge said the husband had
been picking arguments with his wife for more than four years
"on the grounds that she was seeing Hindi serials on TV
channels"...

...or
how about long
commutes being a cause for divorce (at least in
Sweden)? "In
families where the man commutes, the woman is often forced to
take a less qualified job closer to home, which means both
less money as well as a larger share of the the responsibility
for kids and household.

Although
women commuters also experience an increase in salary and
career prospects, earlier studies have shown that they
experience more stress and feel less successful career-wise
than commuting men.

The
risk of divorce goes up by 40 percent for commuters and the
risk is the highest in the first few years of
commuting..."

...or
how divorce
is increasing among the elderly in India: "Couples feared a divorce would bring stigma to
their family and ruin the marriage prospects for their
daughters, she said. A prospective son-in-laws family would
not want to take in the daughter of a broken
home.

Urban
society no longer views divorce as humiliating and shameful,
and people are therefore more willing to let it happen,
Karanth said"

...and
on that note, a "timeless" joke: Adam and Eve had
an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men
she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the
way his mother cooked...

Till
next time (and as Master Shifu
says, "May you find inner peace...")!

The DFW Desi

...and if you are getting engaged or married,
don't forget to get the custom bridals from Silk
Threads...nationwide...

SOCIETY

Reverse Brain Drain?

Janki Shah studied in Atlanta, but returned to India
to start up her own camping company

As
India's economy grows, tens of thousands of young Indians who
have studied overseas are heading back to their homeland,
drawn by rising living standards. It's a phenomenon known as
the reverse brain drain.

"There
were many people who thought I was stupid for not settling
there and having a house in the suburbs," says Janki Shah as
she reflects on her decision to move back to India from the
United States.

and
also: "India is a fantastic untapped market, open to
experimental and innovative ideas, and the middle classes now
have the money and are willing to try new things," says
Janki.

Cultural
affinity and family ties have often been reasons why Indians
return home after studying. But the business potential that
India offers right now, makes it an even more attractive
prospect says Avdesh Mittal, a partner at the Mumbai branch of
international headhunters Heidrick and Struggles..."

Read the full story

CULTURE

Arranged marriages, redux?

So
I was stuck at an airport today for over four hours
(ironically in "The entrepreneur
believes it is a philosophy ingrained in Indian culture and
one of the reasons Indians place more importance on matching
other 'various criteria' before tying the knot - 'religion,
language matching the community, you need to also match the
sub-community, then there's horoscope
matching'."

read
on...

and from the Guardian article in the same
blog post:

"As if it wasn't enough to take
responsibility for the history of colonialism in India, I had
a lot personally riding on the place. I'd abandoned a full
life in New York a job as a producer on a radio show, a boyfriend I was
crazy about for a one-way ticket. I told myself I was propelled by
an urge for adventure, but it was more than that: at some
level, I thought India would help me "become" myself. For that
to happen, I believed I needed to immerse myself in the
culture, without being judgmental about anything: not the
squat toilets, not the fact that women were advised not to
leave the house alone at night in Delhi, and certainly not a
centuries-old tradition like arranged
marriage..."

FROM OUR SPONSOR:

FEATURED NONPROFIT

Nanhi Kali

In India, considering that
only 3 out of 10 girls who enroll in grade 1 complete grade
10, education for a girl child born to a poor family is still
a pipe dream. The Nanhi Kali project intends to make this
disturbing fact a history. With your help we can make it
sooner.

Sponsor a Nanhi Kali. Be her
guardian. Your sponsorship will provide her with study
material, uniforms and learning support. You will receive a
profile of your Nanhi Kali with regular updates on her
education. It is $60 per year for grade 1-7 and $90 per year
for grade 8-10.

For more details, please
visit NanhiKali.org

Please send any recommended Non-profits, with South Asian
involvement, to desi@TribeDesi.com, to be
considered for inclusion in this newsletter.
Thanks

Tribe Desi Blog

Friday, June 3, 2011

Matchmaking, Halal Dating and Arranged Marriages...